“Accepting Each Other ‘As Is’”
A Sermon Preached by
The Rev. Jean Niven Lenk
Sunday, January 22, 2012
First Congregational Church of Stoughton, United
Church of Christ
Text: Matthew
18:15-20; 1 Corinthians 12:12-27
Several decades ago, when I
was young and unsophisticated to the ways of the world, I was in the process of
selling my car to a work colleague when an older and wiser friend of mine gave
me some of advice. “Be sure you include
in the bill of sale that the buyer is agreeing to purchase the car in “as is
condition.”
“Why do that?” I asked,
revealing the full extent of my inexperience and naiveté.
“Well, you’re just warning
the buyer that the car is not perfect,” he explained.
“There’s nothing wrong with
the car,” I responded, a little defensively.
“Ah, you don’t think there’s anything wrong with the
car but there assuredly is,” my older and wiser friend responded. “Chances are the problem will show up as soon
as the sale has been transacted, and you don’t want the buyer accusing you of knowingly
selling him damaged goods. Perfection
may be a reasonable expectation of someone buying a new car, but it shouldn’t be the expectation of someone buying a used car.”
It might not surprise you
that the words “in as is condition” have been included in every bill of sale I
have drawn up in the ensuing decades.
Which got me to thinking... Perfection shouldn’t be the expectation of
someone dealing with a human being, either.
Maybe we should all come marked with a warning that we, too, are to be
accepted in “as is condition.” Because
we all have some imperfection, some fault, flaw, failing, weakness, shortcoming.[i]
It wouldn’t matter all that
much if we each lived in isolation. But
we human beings are wired with a yearning to attach and connect, to love and be
loved. And that’s where our “as is
condition” can become a problem.
It is simply human nature to go
into a relationship thinking that the other person is flawless. This is called the “honeymoon stage.” And then, as the relationship progresses, reality
sets in; you discover that she’s always late for everything or that he doesn’t
seem to listen when you’re talking to him.
That honeymoon? It’s over.
It happens in one-on-one
relationships, and it also happens in group relationships, like churches. Our need for community with people and the
God who made us is to the human spirit what food and air and water are to the
human body. But if it’s hard having a
relationship with one person, try multiplying that by 50 or 100.
Several years ago, a pastor[ii]
preached a sermon in which, from the pulpit, he asked his congregation, “Is
there someone in this church you can’t stand?
Is there someone here who has betrayed you, or disappointed you, or who
offends you, or angers you, or grates on you?
Is there someone here you don’t want to have anything more to do with?”
After the service, a
relatively new member approached the pastor and said, “Gee, there’s no one here
in this church like that for me.” But a
few months later, this same member went back to the pastor and said, “Remember
that sermon that I told you I couldn’t relate to? Well, I think I get it now.”
For that new member, the
honeymoon was over, and she had discovered what so many of us have had to learn
the hard way: living in community is
hard. But living in community is an
essential part of being a Christian because Christianity is, first and last, a
communal religion; you can’t be a Christian by yourself.
This week has been designated by
the World Council of Churches as the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity. Every year at this time, Christian faith
traditions around the world join in prayer and reflection about our unity in
Christ and the need to heal the divisions within the Church universal. The Week of Prayer for Christian Unity was
established over 100 years ago, but issues have been dividing the church since
it was first established 2,000 years ago.
The church that the Apostle
Paul founded in Corinth was split by disputes over conduct, worship practices,
and the marginalizing of the congregation’s disadvantaged members. In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul was
summoning this factious and fractured congregation to demonstrate the unity
that is essential in belonging to Christ, and in this morning’s Scripture
lesson, he uses the imagery of a body to make his point.
By comparing members of
Christ’s church to parts of a human body, Paul neatly explains two
complementary truths that the Corinthians have failed to comprehend. Any part of a body, Paul says – such as an
eye or a foot – makes a valuable contribution to the whole body, and all parts
must cooperate to form a single, unified, functioning body. Paul looks at the conflict in Corinth and says,
“Don’t you people understand that you are one body? Each of you is a part. Each of you is important.”
These days idealists, or the
uninitiated, might have hopes and dreams of finding an idyllic community in a
church, thinking it must be a place where peace, geniality, and agreeability
reign supreme and never an unkind word or harsh remark is spoken. But churches are not filled with
picture-perfect people. Rather, they are
filled with flesh and blood “as is” human beings feeling real emotions and
living real lives. And whenever we come
together, even when it is in Jesus’ name – even when it is in a community of
faithful, wonderful, loving human beings – there is bound to be conflict.
Jesus knew this. Perhaps that is why, in this morning’s Gospel
lesson, he promises “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there
among them” – because when two or more are gathered, there will eventually be
disagreement.
I suspect that there have
been people who have come to this church expecting it to be a perfect place
filled with perfect people and, most unrealistic of all, led by a perfect
pastor. And I suspect that when they did
not find perfection but rather a bunch of people in “as is condition,” they
slipped quietly away.
That is why I make it a point
of telling new members during our Covenant Classes that when they join this
church we are all binding ourselves to one another with holy promises. If someone hurts or offends us, walking away
is not an option; sitting silently licking our wounds or feeling sorry for
ourselves is not an option; holding grudges, refusing to forgive, and especially disappearing from church
is not an option.
Rather, we must be
intentional about engaging with that person, and Jesus shows us how -- not with
the arrogance, pride, or self-conceit that get in the way of community, but
rather with the love, humility, wisdom, and openness to each other that builds
community.
We could each wear a sign
that warns: “I am in ‘as is’ condition.”
I have some imperfection, some fault, failing, weakness, shortcoming – quite
a few, actually. And so do you. Having to deal each other’s quirks and
idiosyncrasies and eccentricities and peculiarities and foibles and flaws makes
living in community difficult – and that is also what makes living in community
so rewarding.
Because it is when things get
difficult that we can let God do something in us. It is then that we can truly be a church, a covenantal community bound
together by God’s love into the body of Christ. Amen.
